11/16/2023 0 Comments Fantastical thinking![]() Our family values cherished honesty and I was raising a misbehaving liar. She’d lie about taking something that wasn’t hers when caught red-handed, she’d lie about hitting her brother when I saw her do it, she’d lie about finishing her peas when the bowl was still full. It wasn’t the first time she’d lied - and it wouldn’t be the last. I didn’t.” She threw the marker down and ran from the room, stunning the rest of us into a moment of silence. What were you thinking? Don’t lie to me.” ![]() She shook her head, gripping the marker tight. And, as my eyes fell to the thick black line drawn on the back of my pretty new chair, I realized my daughter had just proven that fact. I had absolutely no business buying sand-colored, upholstered chairs, as if I lived in some other house with well-behaved kids and relaxed grown-ups. She looked back at me through an unbrushed nest of hair piled atop her sinewy frame, holding a thick, black marker, standing next to one of my brand-new dining chairs. My 6 year old shouted “Mom, look at my LEGO ship” in machine-gun rapid fire, unsuccessful in attracting my attention because I only had eyes for my 8 year old - the one with attention deficit disorder ( ADHD or ADD). My 4 year old clung to my thigh like a monkey to a flagpole, wailing because mommy was going to a PTA meeting after dinner. ![]() We were nearing the end of a very long day. And magical thinking allowed her to imagine that she hadn’t.” My child with ADHD had just done something impulsive - something outside her control - and was unable to stop herself in time. Telling lies is something all children do – not in an attempt to deceive but as a coping mechanism to deal with their own remorse, shame and inability to understand that their poor impulse control makes them say and do things they know they should not do but seem unable to control – yet they must also learn that all behaviours have consequences. Better to teach them to self regulate and self manage their ADHD
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